I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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