that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
