you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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