Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
