Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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