no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize