high people should be assigned attendants
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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