dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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