i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
