he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize