Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
