Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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