just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
