Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
