So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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