Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Swine flu is the new snow day.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
