We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
