im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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