just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
