Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
