NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
