Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
