Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize