hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
