she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
