we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize