either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize