You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
