shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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