Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
