dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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