pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
