Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
