when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
another moral hangover. fuck.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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