He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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