just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
