Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
