Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
