I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
