K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
