wat bout pragnant strippers??
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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