Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
