I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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