I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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