im drinking this country out of the recession.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize