Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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