YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
