This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize