Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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