you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
