With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Be still, my beating vagina.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
