just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Is it because I queefed?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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