i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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