You're my little dorito
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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