sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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