Yo dont text me then not text me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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