So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
too bad you live with your parents still
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
