Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
