The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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