Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize