If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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