so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
