I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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